About 10 minutes ago I
was filling out one of those surveys
that everyone does but nobody reads
and the second line
staring back at me from the screen
was 'Last words said to your dad.'

And it wasn't so much the fact
that I couldn't remember what I'd said
It was the fact that suddenly, I couldn't
remember ever saying much of anything.

I'd like to say that  I picked up the phone
and, for the first time in ten years,
had a real conversation with my father

But my will isn't that strong yet.
Or, rather, I have no real necessity
for ghosts souls
from a ghost life
that I have long left behind.

Steve Irwin (Crocodile Hunter) is dead.  He was pierced in the heart by a stingray off the coast of Queensland, and was pronounced DOA. He was only 44. I am sad and shocked. RIP Croc Hunter.

Hey all, I apologize for the month-long hiatus, I've just been very contemplative lately and less extroverted about the inner workings of the Spirit. However, I feel that a certain amount of communication is quite a lovely thing, so here I am!

Life has been absolutely wonderful as of late. We've started planning for the November retreat and the Lord has been instilling sooooooo many things in my soul that I can hardly sit still. Every breath in my body yearns to praise Him, and escapes my lips with bursting joy. I've been meditating on the words 'Let love be sincere' and a verse in 1 Thes, "and may you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, so as to be blameless in holiness at the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ with all His holy ones." Good stuff, man.


From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You Know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Incomparable, Unchangeable,
You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same.
You are amazing God

Well, the Lord is certainly doing well to keep me on my toes, but in compensation He is also bestowing many graces of which I am in dire need. I find it funny how quickly the carpet can be pulled from underneath one's feet, as many who read this, I'm sure, can understand. I'm not really sure why, but lately I've been very careful of what I post on this LiveJournal. I'm not sure why, as I'm usually perfectly open about things like this.

I suppose I should let y'all know that Nolan has decided after much prayer and discernment that we should end our correspondence, and, apparently, our friendship, for various spiritual and personal reasons. While this is an absolutely terrifying revelation, I'm 100% positive that the Lord has something good planned and that His loving arms embrace me in this solitude. I hope with all my heart that 'calling it quits' won't be permanent, but it's all in His hands.

"I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us... And in hope we were saved. Now hope that sees for itself is not hope. For who hopes for what one sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance... and know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose... What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?" -Romans 8:18,24,28,

Today marked the 4th time in the past two months that someone has seriously inquired as to whether or not Justin Seng and I are dating.

Most of the people who read this don't even know who that is, but those who do can attest to how utterly bizarre that is.

Weird stuff, man. Weird stuff.

And the Lord has yet again given me the red light.

Well, at least we know where we stand.

Oh yes, by the way.... I ditched my newly updated Geocities and went back to Blogger to try my hand at a real photoblog. Since Blogger isn't designed for photoblog-styles, it was hard to configure so it has a LOT of bugs, but overall I'm pleased with the look/title/functionality. There are only 3 pictures up as of yet, just to serve as examples. The rest are on my BubbleShare or my Flickr.

Anyway, check it out please!

http://www.waxingaesthetic.blogspot.com

Well, I suppose I should update because I have been very low-key when it comes to internet social functions as of late.... haven't really had time for AIM or posting. I should apologize primarily to Luke, since AIM and LJ are basically our only two modes of communication and my absence began at a point in time when more communication would have helped things immensely, methinks. So..... yes, sorry Luke.

Well, today was absolutely brilliant. Woke up a bit late because at around 2am there was a truly horrible storm that I absolutely couldn't sleep through. My grandpa said it was the worst storm he's ever seen without there being a tornado involved. It was actually quite scary at first....

Anyway, today I went and picked up my iPod and the man who was on shift at RadioShack was the same guy who sold me the iPod on my birthday and then consoled me when I came in crying 18 days later, and there was a glitch in the system, so I didn't have to pay a single cent of the $240 repair fee! Yay! iPod=happiness.

Speaking of music, I am glad to say my musical horizons have been growing with each passing day. Recently Nolan introduced me to Five Iron Frenzy and Flook, two absolutely fabulous bands. The first is apparently ska/pop, but it's got trumpets and great lyrics and is Christian and thus very appealing. Flook is a Celtic indie band with an AMAZING tin whistle player, Brian Finnegan. This man seriously takes my breath away... he is incredible. Nolan has met him, and says he's very nice in person as well. He gave Nolan a $220 tin whistle out of the kindness of his heart, so I conclude that he must be a pretty cool dude.

On my own, I've discovered a love of Franz Ferdinand and certain techno mixes... haha. And I've rediscovered a love for the old hippie group, ABBA. Actually, I like covers of their songs better than the originals (Though they are incredibly preteen-pop-ish, the group A*Teens does remarkable covers of many ABBA songs), but I suppose it would have helped if I had actually grown up in that generation.

I didn't grow up in the 70's, but I can still appreciate the music! Today I went with my mom to a Heart concert, which was pretty outstanding. Three of the songs they played I actually knew (though two were Zeppelin covers) and the rest were still awesome. There's something about live music that I just really enjoy. *shrugs*

Hmm... what else? Oh yes, how could I forget!? As we were walking into the Morris for the concert, I saw a miracle in a 3'x6' frame.... CATS is being performed at the Morris! The broadway cast.... at the Morris.... two nights only....25th anniversary performance. AMAZING. I don't know who to go with because I haven't talked to Nolan in a couple days and he might be playing a show, but the shows are tonight (Wednesday July 19) and tomorrow (Thursday July 19)... so I might just go with my mom again... she's fallen in love with the Morris.

I'm reading a book right now called Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, and it is utterly genius. 846 pages (yes, it is quite long) of pure literary rapture. It describes the lives and adventures of two practical magicians in nineteenth-century England, during the Napoleonic War. Excellent plot lines laced with intricately vivid description make for a wonderful novel,  and an eerie, mystical feeling adds to the allure.

I could be a literary critic.... ha. No.

Um..... the end!

Well well well, here are the newest lyrics. Kind of cliche, I will admit, but as usual I like the melody better than the lyrics. Haven't named the song yet, but I have an idea. Also, the best line in the whole darn thing (in my opinion) is credited to Nolan. 'She's got naked feet and the mood of English rain.' Hope you like it!

There are songs in the palm of her hand
that she's trying to ignore
and her fist is clenched,
but it's still an open door
She can barely hear the words
but they're still burning
And the more she watches you
the more she's learning

that when it's
you staring down the spotlight
She's a bird waiting for a change
You open all the windows all around
and she'll fly away and never be the same
never be the same

There are songs in the palm of her hand
that cannot be explained
She's got naked feet and the mood of English rain
And she's wondering how she'll fit the start
of a pinwheel romance in a pinhole heart

You're staring at the ceiling
she's a bird waiting for a change
You open all the windows all around
and she'll fly away and never be the same
never be the same

You're staring at the ceiling
I'm a bird waiting, for a change
You've opened all the windows all around
and I'll fly away and never be the same
never be the same... without you.


The end!

*grins*

Today I saw
sunset and sunrise together
paired and paradoxical
seeping with a melancholy joy.
So logical
and left-brained
and miles away from me
that I wonder if perhaps
my desires and dreams
will burst when they collide.